Once upon a time I had it all - the degree, the job, the husband, the children, the house. To everyone else, my life looked perfect. But to me, I was just getting by, living Groundhog Day, on everyone else's watch.
I hid it well. I even hid it from myself for a really long time. I would spend hours scrolling through inspirational quotes online, but not taking any action.
I kept myself "busy" with the kids and with work - at one point I had four jobs! I worked myself senseless in all areas of my life. Trying to keep up with everyone around me and pretend I was an expert. Trying to prove that I was capable and creative, and that I had any clue about what I was doing. I made excuses for myself and for others I loved. Trying to convince others, and in hindsight trying to convince myself that I was ok and my life was rainbows and unicorns.
After years of telling untruths (to myself and others), having unfulfilling relationships and feeling unworthy, my heart and soul were craving true love, connection and joy. I was weary of wondering “what if…?” and losing myself in self-sabotaging habits in order to escape the mundane of life.
There had to be more to life, surely?!
At my lowest, and when I felt I had no other choice, I took the path less travelled and leaped (not gracefully) into the uncertain territory of single motherhood. With no real plan other than to find my own happiness.
No one could understand why or how I could break up my family home, and I was so sad and confused myself that I failed to explain it. I was drowning.
But with the help of a growing spiritual toolbelt of crystals, reiki and other healing modalities, I found hope.
And in the solitude of those days and nights when my children were with their Dad, I dove deep into my soul, wade through the shadows, and slowly starting paddling my way back to shore. I admit it wasn't easy. It took years. I had to learn to feel safe in vulnerability, and to ask for support.
When I couldn't find it within myself, I borrowed confidence from others who believed in me. Step by step, I found strength, love and respect for myself, that no one will ever take from me again. (You can read more about it in my book)
On solid ground and as I danced my way back to the light, I found joy in the little things again. Once I finally saw the worth in myself, things shifted in the most magical and unexpected of ways.
I salsa’d, mambo’d and rumba’d right into the arms of my soulmate, and now we tango through life as a blended family, with a love as wide as it is deep.
I share this with you because after coming through the other side of where you are, I studied further to become a holistic life coach so I can help women like you do the same. So my wish and commitment to you is simple…